Scouting Anadarko

Generally when I start my scouting of upcoming opponents, I start with social media, YouTube, MaxPreps, and then a few other places, such as alleys or bars. As I was about to begin the information gathering while watching the Bills destroy Green Bay (charter member of the Bills Mafia since 2011, been breaking tables and housing pizzas from Pete for almost 11 years now), I stumbled across this little gem on Twitter.

Now, we've all seen these "advertisements" recently as they have become a humorous way to describe certain members of the population. I mean heck, we even put one up recently.

Turns out we were right, especially about their fears of winning football games and I'm certain that one of their linemen has a phobia of Otters that will probably require counseling for quite some time.

But back to the 'Darko coach meme, let's break it down from a fundamental standpoint simple enough so that a 1st grader at Gilmour or a junior from Anadarko can understand.

First off, these are a joke. They are meant to poke fun at the subject. In this case, they are making fun of their head football coach. Now, I ask you have you seen any of these featuring Brent Venables? Mike Gundy? Mel Tucker from Michigan State?

Sure, you've probably seen one showing Lincoln Riley, but it was made by some OU fan who still feels butthurt for Riley's departure (frankly I think the Sooners are better off without him) and wanted to make people laugh.

Sofies, guess where I found the meme about the Anadarko coach...that's right, on their own Twitter page for Anadarko athletics. Right off the bat, this tells me and the world that they don't respect their coach at all. Sure, they may think he's a cool dude, might even be funny, may be voted the Coach most likely to be your best friend. But that ain't what quality coaches do or have their players and fans think.

Which is why you haven't seen the memes featuring Venables, Gundy, Tucker and especially not Coach Myers. They won't stand for it. These are coaches who are concerned about one thing, and that thing is winning football games.

They aren't concerned who thinks they are cool (honestly I wonder if Coach B was EVER cool) or if people think they are funny or if they are a player's best friend. They just want to get the most out of their players to achieve that goal of winning the game.

So let's take a look at what it takes to be the head football coach at Anadarko.

1. Durable headset- to the novice observer, one may infer durability is necessary because of his frequent throwing and slamming headsets to the ground in frustration because his team isn't performing properly. It is actually required so that they can also be used for those multi-player (or should I say multi-friends) games of COD or Fortnite. Can't connect with your players if you don't use the same lingo as them, am I right there Anadarko Coach or should I use your login name, 1andDunplayoffssince01?

2. Whistle- Now if you want to be a football coach and don't know you need a whistle, you may want to rethink your vocational ambitions. I'll leave it at that.

3. Anadarko Football T Shirt- Now this may be similar to the whistle inclusion, again to a novice observer but this is actually an important addition. Without it, he's probably being told "yes, I would like fries with that and can I get an extra sweet and sour packet for my nuggets". By wearing the shirt, people will know that he isn't there to get you a straw or fix the ice cream machine.

4. Purple wind pants- This, quite frankly stumps me. Purple wind pants haven't been a thing since MC Hammer was telling the masses he was 2 legit 2 quit. However, it is probably necessary to ensure that customers don't ask him to see the manager as long as he has the headset, whistle, and Anadarko football t shirt.

5. Flip phone- This is to demonstrate that while you are aware of mobile communication, you want to keep things simple and outdated. Much like your offense and defensive schemes.

6. Pregame bifocals- These are helpful when reading the fine print of your contract to see just how much longer you have to keep wearing these clothes and putting out subpar football instruction.

7. Start Fast Mentality- Now this was probably put in so not to hurt the feelings of the coach. He probably tells his team to start fast in the hopes that they will have some success early in the game. If he doesn't remind them and they don't, generally they end up getting beat quickly, and eventually roll over and watch the clock more than the game in anticipation of making it to the convenience store before it closes.

So there you have it, the initial impressions found while scouting Anadarko. We will provide more insights for you throughout the week but felt this was a good start. I've got to go now, I've got Josh Allen and Stefon Diggs on my fantasy team and need to check how many points they got me tonight.